Missing in Action: The World's Most Elusive Vaporware

Trailers are just the dardest things. They give us a peek at the latest and greatest games that are coming down the pipeline. They also make us a promise. A promise that we will be able to play that game sometime in the near future. Then it gets delayed. And delayed again. Will it ever come out? Why advertise a game years in advance? Titles that become Vaporware can either create a lot of buzz or make a laughing stock out of it.

Let's take a look at some of the top Vaporware titles right now. Who knows, maybe a year or two from now some of these will be released.

Sadness (Wii)

Originally announced even before the Nintendo Wii was released, Nibris promised us a black and white survival horror game set in a pre-WWI Slavic country. A live action teaser trailer was released which was "based-on" the game and we were supposed to get some game footage by the end of 2007. We didn't. There's been two screenshots that have surfaced, but we don't know if they are in-game or not. Frontline Studios was supposed to co-produce the game but back in March of 2007 they split. The game is not "officially" dead... but it is. Here's what Nibris said: "The scenario will have associations with narcolepsy, nyctophobia and paranoid schizophrenia. The scenario will surprise you." (Surprise! it's never coming out!)

Original Release Date: ?
Current Release Date: TBA (AKA: NEVER)


StarCraft: Ghost (Multiplatform)

Who knows what black hole sucked this game up. Announced all the way back in 2002 for PS2/XB/GC, but after E3 2005 we found out that the GameCube version was dropped, but it was still on the way. We waited until March of 2006 for Blizzard to finally announced that the game was on "indefinite hold" while it was updated for the seventh generation consoles. We get little bits and pieces of information about this title from time to time. The latest being at the DICE Summit in 2008 where we learned that "there still was an interest in finishing Ghost". It's pretty obvious that Blizzard is more concentrated on StarCraft II (and possibly Diablo 3 if the rumors are true) than it would be on Ghost.

Original Release Date: 2003
Current Release Date: When does the PS9 come out again?


Metroid: Dread (Nintendo DS)

It's crazy how a game is never announced but people think it's real. While we would all love another 2D hand held Metroid game, I doubt we will see one anytime soon. Ever since rumors emerged in 2005, Nintendo has never officially released anything about this game. The only clue we ever got was in Metroid Prime 3: Corruption where a computer panel says "Experiment status report update: Metroid project 'Dread' is nearing the final stages of completion". Retro Studios and Nintendo both denied any connection. Could this be a secret kept under Ninny's hat that will be unloaded at this year's E3? We'll see!

Original Release Date: ?
Current Release Date: Whenever the project is completed! Can't you read!


Killzone 2 (PlayStation 3)

As one of the first PS3 games announced, it would seem Sony hoped that this could be their "Halo killer". The first trailer from E3 2005 led to much controversy where it was argued that it could be just a concept video or possibly pre-rendered game footage. We didn't really see anything else until GDC 2007 where an in-game trailer was shown to the media. I'm not really sure why Sony is banking on this one so much. The original Killzone wasn't that good and wasn't even that popular. By missing their window of opportunity, Sony now has to hope that Killzone 2 will be a Halo 3, Gears of War 2, Left 4 Dead, etc. killer

Original Release Date: 2008
Current Release Date: February 2009


Gran Turismo 4 Mobile (PlayStation Portable)

By digging up the bones of E3 2004 we find evidence that this game once did exist. It was supposed to be the game to get for the forthcoming Sony hand held. Many thought they wouldn't even be able to fit the entire game on on one UMD. They were probably right. GT4M's producer, Kazunori Yamauchi, told us back in April that the game "took much more time and effort than we had first imagined". Luckily, it fits nicely on top of the pile of broken promises that Sony has accumulated over the years.

Original Release Date: April 2005
Current Release Date: It's Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiige Racer!


Gran Turismo 5 (PlayStation 3)

Right on the heels of GTA4M, Sony kept the fire burning when Gran Turismo 5 (or Gran Turismo HD, originally) was announced and shown in 2006 to the pants-wetting joy of Sony fanboys around the world. This one is taking so long, they released part of the game a few months ago. I'm sure the rest of it will be coming soon! Recently, Yamauchi has stated how 150 people have been working on the game for four years and has cost 50 times more than it's PS1 ancestor. I'm sure it'll be ready for release right before the PS4 comes out. Sweet!

Original Release Date: 2008
Current Release Date: 2010

Bob Ross: The Joy of Painting (Multiplatform)

Such a sad, short story for such a happy, strange game. Announced back in March of 2006 for Nintendo DS, Wii and PC by AGFRAG Entertainment. I'm assuming gameplay would be similar to the likes of Mario Paint back in the days of SNES. In December 2006, Bob Ross Inc dropped them and, to this day, is looking for a new developer. Maybe they thought that due to Bob's death the previous year it would seem inappropriate. Or, maybe they realized that you can get this game for free: It's called a pen and a piece of paper!

Original Release Date: ?
Current Release Date: Let's paint a happy little tree!

Tekken 6 (PlayStation 3)

Here's a rare specimen. This game is already out in Japanese arcades as of November 2007 but we're still waiting to play it here in the states. Tekken is one of my personal favorite fighting games ever since the PS1 days and it's latest expansion for the PSP/PSN was great. Tekken 6 has over 30 confirmed characters (a total of 41 when it's done) and features multi-tiered levels and day/night time transitions. Trailers were shown back at E3 2005, but with no release date in sight it looks like we'll be waiting a long time. Now, with it's PS3 exclusive status in question, it will take all that longer to develop. The game's director, Katsuhiro Harada, has said "We want Tekken 6 to both look cool and play good" Adding "We don't want to disappoint our Tekken fans, so we're working hard on making Tekken 6 good". Um, ya. So it looks like I'll be buying SoulCalibur IV instead!

Original Release Date: ?
Current Release Date: Finish Him!


Project H.A.M.M.E.R. (Wii)

A much needed beat 'em up announced at E3 2006 as a first party title possibly for Wii's launch line-up, but by mid-2007 with no additional info we realized we may never find out what H.A.M.M.E.R. could possibly stand for. Rumors fly back and forth about this one all over the internet. The last we heard was Nintendo confirmed at E3 2007 that development was put on hold, but has not officially canceled it and “may come back” in the future.

Original Release Date: 2007
Current Release Date: Reggie Mad!!! Reggie Smash!!!


LittleBigPlanet (PlayStation 3)

It's pretty pretentious to codename your project "The Next Big Thing". Nintendo sure did it with the codename "Revolution". The only difference is that Nintendo actually pulled it off! This DIY puzzler's dream looks fun and I would love to play it. Phil Harrison, SCE's ex-head honcho, announced it in 2007 and was due by early 2008. Now, a beta is scheduled for the summer and we're hoping for even just a demo by the end of this year! With even more footage shown at this year's E3, it makes me want it even more! Oddly enough, even with so much game footage out there already, it's hard to believe that this game isn't close to being done. Sony's pile is getting bigger...

Original Release Date: Early 2008
Current Release Date: October 2008


Disaster: Day of Crisis (Wii)

I'm pretty sure that this game will eventually see a release, but until then it's been possibly banished to development limbo. Featured at E3 2006 as one of Nintendo's attempt at some new franchises, it's an original idea for a survival game that takes place during various natural disasters. The Big N has told us the game has “Cutting-edge physics and gripping visuals” to re-create the sheer terror of major catastrophes. It's quite possible that due to recent real-world natural catastrophes, this game is on hold until the "it's too soon" factor wears off. But, truth be told, we'll always have some kind of disaster going on at some point in the world. So Nintendo should just finish it up and get it out there because we need a good survival game for Wii.

Original Release Date: ?
Current Release Date: Is it safe to make Pearl Harbor jokes yet?



PlayStation Home (PlayStation 3)

This has been in development since early 2005 and officially announced by Sony in March of 2007 at GDC. While not really a "game" per se, it is an free online social experience that is supposed to be similar to the popular Second Life. PS3 users can customize a human avatar and meet up and chat or play games and movies with friends. You can buy clothes and furniture for your crib. There's even going to be a trophy room for your gaming accomplishments (but since I can just download any game save at 100% completion, I really don't see the point). The closed beta is now reported to be running until sometime in the Fall of 2008. Sony's CEO Kazuo Hirai has stated that "Spending more time on the development and on the Closed Beta testing reaffirms our commitment to bringing a quality service, maintaining the PlayStation tradition." (They should probably commit to bringing some quality exclusive games to their console, first)

Original Release Date: Fall 2007
Current Release Date: 2009


Duke Nukem Forever (Multiplatform)

Here is is. You knew it was coming. The granddaddy of them all, and the title that sets the bar for all Vaporware. So, let's take a trip back in time! All the way to April of 1997! The fourth installment of Duke Nukem was supposed to be out no later than mid-1998 and would use the Quake II engine. 3D Realms later fooled the world in August by releasing fake screenshots made in the developers free time because they didn't even get the game engine code until November.

At E3 1998 the first game footage was revealed using the Quake II engine. We knew they'd miss their mid-1998 deadline, but things still looked like they were pretty much on track. Come June of 1998, developers switched the now overused Unreal engine. Now we knew for sure 1998 would not be Duke's year. Although, we were reassured that the transition would only take four to six weeks and now would be released in 1999. Phew! That's not so bad, right?

Wrong! By November of 1999 all we got were some screenshots of Forever running on the upgraded Unreal engine. 2000 passed with no new info and E3 2001 was the next time we'd heard anything about the Dukester. Some in-game footage was shown which featured a large city and how to get a sandwich from a vending machine (huh?). Later that year, GTA's Take-Two would take over the publishing rights. Could this project finally take shape?

Wrong again! By 2002, Take-Two completely overhauled the game's mechanics, which now contained parts of the Unreal 2.0 engine, and added more developers. TT announced the game would see release by the end of 2003. Then by the end of 2004. Then by 2005. Then another physics engine switch. Flash forward to 2006. We're told that Forever is almost done and being given some final tweaking and polishing. Looks like we'll finally get to play it soon! Right?

You know you're wrong! Come on now! 3D Realms put Duke on the back burner to free up some room for the mildly successful 2006 shooter, Prey. In more recent news, a teaser was released last year around Christmas but was never actually confirmed to be a work of 3D Realms. An official trailer was released in February of 2008 which doesn't actually show any in-game footage, but rather a cut scene showing a blonder, buffer Duke and some nastier looking baddies. The trailer ended with the words "Stay Tuned" instead of "Coming Soon" or something like that.

So here we are in 2008. Over 11 years after the initial announcement, and with no official release date in sight, Duke Nukem has become a running joke around the world wide web. I'll finish this epic saga with a quote from 3D Realms CEO Scott Miller who stated "of course as soon as Duke is done we'll begin a new one." (Ya, and I'll start my second spaceship as soon as I return from my first trip to the moon).

Original Release Date: 1998
Current Release Date: Come Get Some!

Honorable Mentions: Final Fantasy XIII & Versus XIII (PS3), Raid Over the River (Wii), Resident Evil 5 (Multiplatform), Super Street Fighter II Turbo HD Remix (Multiplatform), Devil May Cry (PSP), Afrika (PS3), Infamous (PS3), Dragon Quest IX: Protectors of the Stars (DS), Zombie Massacre (Wii), Final Fantasy: Dissidia (PSP)

So there you have it. Sony definitely holds the title for the biggest heart-breaker out there. You may have also noticed that there's no Microsoft titles listed. It would seem there's pretty much caught up for the moment, but they have had their share of Vaporware blunders (Halo 3 for one). Let's hope that if I write another one of these articles next year that none of these titles will be repeat offenders. Developers and publishers really need to keep a tighter lid on projects before people start getting really excited about them. In one way, it's nice that peoples' feedback early on in development and beta testing can change the shape and feel of the game for the better. But, on the other hand, waiting several years for one game just isn't worth it in the long run. I suppose ignorance truly is bliss!

-mwb-

What If a New DS Was Announced at E3 2008?

Many rumors are flying around already about this year's E3 and I'm sure there will be many more as July draws closer. One of those rumors was a remodeled or next generation of the money making machine also known as Nintendo DS. I can see why people would think a next gen model would be coming soon. Game Boy Color came out in 1998, Game Boy Advance in 2001, the original DS was unleashed in 2004 and followed up by the DS Lite in 2006. It would seem every three years or so Nintendo makes us empty our wallets for a new handheld. A new DS system in 2009 would seem to be a safe bet. Personally, I think a redesign is more likely. The DS has plenty of life left. The dual screened wonder has sold over 100 million units worldwide (source) and doesn't show too many signs of stopping. Games are still being released like wildfire (I'm talking quantity, not quality), it's still way ahead of PSP and Nintendo still has some key franchises they haven't covered yet. I predict we'll see one more redesign before a totally new version emerges. But what if I'm wrong?



I present to you my Nintendo DS "Next" Wishlist...

» Wi-Fi Enabled PictoChat: This would seem as such an obvious feature but, knowing Nintendo, it would still require Friend Codes to chat (which we all know I love!). A buddy list similar to AIM/MSN would be convenient to see if your friends are available for playing.

» Quality Speakers: I usually play with headphones because those cheap speakers sound awful. One of the few things the PSP got right was quality speakers.

» Backwards Compatibility: Another obvious one, but it still needs to be said. First gen DS games are a must. GBA should still be there, too. Slot 2 is also useful for accessories (Guitar Hero, anyone?).

» Internal Rumble: Not too important, but would be nice. As long as it isn't overused, it shouldn't affect battery life too much.

» Improved Download Play Speeds: DS Download Play is a great feature for people that want to play but don't own a copy of the game. Even Multicard Play load times are pretty hefty. Hopefully they are working on ways to decrease the waiting time to play.

» SD Slot: Nintendo has to compete with the PSP as far as multimedia. Being able to store game saves, pictures, video and music would be a nice addition for an on-the-go gamer.

» Larger Buttons: Notice I didn't say more buttons. Even though the DS appeals to children, us older folk have bigger hands and I don't think bigger buttons would cause any kiddies to not be able to play. The only button addition needed is a home button similar to Wii.


» Improved Graphics: There's only been a few games that really pushed the DS to it's limits in the graphics department (Exhibit A). So it's hard to tell what "improved graphics" would be. It won't be a huge jump, but even increasing cart size may help developers pack some more punch.

» Ergonomic Design: The DS "Phat" was actually easier to hold on to for extended periods of time than the Lite. We all like out tech toys to be small, but it has to be comfortable too.

» Widescreen: Another feature that could be cool, but not needed. The touch screen should probably stay around the same size but the top screen could prove quite useful in wide screen.

» Updated Firmware: The next DS should be Wii's true counterpart. The channel menu interface would be touch screen friendly and very familiar. Having a game channel and home button would be useful for hot swapping (it's really a pain to keep turning on and off the system). With a touch of a button on the home screen you can flip the bottom screen with the top screen where you'll find your buddy list, messages and data management. And of course, it's all upgradeable.

» Internal Flash Memory: Time to stop wasting room saving on the cart. If an externalcard slot isn't included, I don't see it impossible to include at least 256 MB worth of memory built in for downloading demos and games (see below).

» Virtual Console: It worked for the Wii! With your My Nintendo account linked to your DS you can transfer your purchased games to your DS. With the current button layout most NES/GEN/SNES/SMS games should work fine. It also seems DS homebrew is all over the place so the only logical thing to do is cash in with DS Ware. The addition of GB/GBC/GBA games would be the icing on the cake.

Nintendo is infamous for doing a lot right and a lot wrong with their systems. I highly doubt all these features could be included, but I like to think that at least a few of them will. You have to think about the production costs, price points, etc. Parents aren't going to shell out $300 for a hand held for their kids. A nice balance of the above features will get 1st gen DS owners to migrate over and should attract some new customers as well (if there's anyone out there without one already!). Then there's people like us that will buy whatever Nintendo tells us to.

-mwb-

Blowing Off Steam: Digging a Hole With Shovelware

The Nintendo Wii and DS are next-gen systems just like the 360, PSP and PS3. They are revolutionary pieces of hardware that create new ways to play, new genres and games yet to be even thought of. They're fun for all ages, they're easy to pick up and play and appeal to hardcore gamers and casual audiences alike. The Wii is sold out everywhere. They currently hold titles for best selling console and hand held system worldwide. So why do the majority of the games look and play like crap?

Today we suffer from Shovelware. Useless pieces of software that have been taking up store shelf space ever since the days of the Atari 2600 (a moment of silence for E.T.). These games are low budget and underdeveloped. The DS is best example with so many games that only sell for the movie or kid's show they are based upon. The Wii hasn't even been out two years and it's safe to say that more than half of the games were rushed to the system solely on the premise that the system sells well and therefore people will buy cheap games. And they do. So they make more horrible games. And the vicious cycle continues.

During the days of the original NES we saw some of the greatest games ever made. These games were timeless and so good that we are still seeing sequels, remakes and spin-offs of them to this day. Of course the NES had it's share of Shovelware, but with so many classic games how did Nintendo keep in check the quality of games from third party developers? It's a great idea and a great invention from the daddy of good ideas: The 10NES chip. An authentication code for NES game console. The system consisted of two parts -- a computer chip in the NES that would check the cartridge in the system for authentication, and a chip in the cartridge that would give the 10NES code upon demand. If the cartridge did not provide the authentication, then the system would not boot up. Pure diabolical genius!

So the crash of 1983 is over. The world is excited about video games again and it's Nintendo at the head of the pack. The system is selling like crazy and game companies want a piece of the action. Well, they're at the mercy of Nintendo. So what does Nintendo do? Limits each company to five games a year. Sounds crazy, but what happens? Developers are forced to only release the greatest and best developed games they have. So what do we get out of this deal? Konami gives us classics like Castlevania, Contra, Gradius and Metal Gear. Capcom graces us with legendary games such as 1942, Bionic Commando, Little Nemo: Dream Master, Mega Man, Snow Brothers and Strider. Let's not forget Tradewest who brought us Double Dragon and Battletoads. And of course Tengen (AKA Nintendo's arch enemy -- Atari, who will later steal the patent and make unlicensed games) gives us Fantasy Zone, Gauntlet, Pac-Man and even Shinobi.

Those were the days when the Nintendo Seal of Quality meant something. Nowadays it would be the Seal of Quantity. While Nintendo makes some of the greatest games for the DS and Wii that will someday be called classics, we are flooded with third party trash. Capcom is one of the few that sometimes continues it's proud tradition of great games (but not always) and develops games like Okami, Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles, Pheonix Wright and Zak & Wiki. Other "developers" will give us let downs like Cruisin', Monster Trux Extreme: Offroad Edition, Ninjabread Man, Wing Island, Chicken Shoot and many many many more. I'm not saying graphics are everything (case and point: No More Heroes), but there are N64 games that look (and play) better.

One reason for so much Shovelware could be because no one knew the Wii would be so popular and therefore didn't make any games for it. The development kit it far cheaper than 360 and PS3, so instead of making quality games they rush out some low budget kids games while the iron is still hot. Well the Wii isn't going anywhere. If Nintendo wants to stay on top they need the software to back it up. With so many first party killer aps for the DS and Wii, it's about time for Nintendo to get its Grand Theft Auto or Halo. Something that gets everyone excited. Something Nintendo didn't make. Something Shigeru Miyamoto didn't have a hand in. Something that looks amazing, is original and plays great without the feeling of tacked on motion or touch controls.

The light at the end of the tunnel could be the dawn of WiiWare. Downloadable games developed exclusively for Wii. Some developers are actually leaving Microsoft and switching over to WiiWare. It seems like it could actually dethrone the goliath that is Xbox Live Arcade. Why? Well, the biggest difference is also the smallest. It is the simple division of Virtual Console games and WiiWare games in the Wii Shop Channel. Even though it is very insignificant to the common consumer, companies see this as a solid boundary line. Instead of new IPs being lost in the shuffle of remakes and touched up classic arcade games they are set apart and put in the spotlight. It would seem like developers are excited again about making new games. Now major, independent and unknown companies have a chance to do something good. Something fresh.

Frontier Developers are taking a step back from games like Thrillville to give us a breath of fresh air called LostWinds. Luc Bernard & Partners left Microsoft to put the highly anticipated side-scroller Eternity's Child onto WiiWare and has now started work on Rose Princess; a mature rated 2D Castlevania-like/Disney style/Victorian era adventure game featuring a robotic cross-dressing, drug-addicted rabbit (huh?). Telltale games is helping to make the internet sensation of Homestar Runner into five interactive "webisodes". World of Goo, from 2D Boy, looks like one of the most original puzzle games in a long time. Blobber Team gives us Last Flight; a bloody cel-shaded horror survival title set aboard a zombie infested plane which, hopefully, will look as good as it sounds. It looks like WiiWare might force retail console games to be good again if they want anyone to buy them. Why spend $50 on garbage when i can get a quality $10 WiiWare game?

But, one of the most surprising companies to do a 180 is High Voltage Software. From the days of White Men Can't Jump for the Atari Jaguar to 50 Cent: Bulletproof, HVS doesn't have too good of a track record. With the recent announcement and trailer of the title The Conduit, they proved that Nintendo isn't the only ones who can make good looking, quality games for the Wii. They are actually developing a brand new Wii specific engine called Quantum3 and they're ultimate goal is a beautiful 60 FPS. They have stated that "With Conduit, we are trying to make a Wii game that looks like a 360 title." If that wasn't enough, they have also tapped into WiiWare with Animales de Muerte, a top down shooter where you kill zombie zoo animals, and Gyrostarr, which is a F-Zero/Tempest hybrid.

With the recent addition of the Nintendo Channel, gamers like you and me can submit feedback about titles which will hopefully be taken seriously by the game companies out there. I highly doubt the average Shovelware buyer would even care (or even know) about this feature. Poor THQ will never know how good Bratz: Movie Starz is! The universe will slowly unfold before our eyes!

I could go on forever and there's plenty more points that I couldn't get to. But, I believe a company can make just as much money with one great game as it could with ten bad ones. Spend the money you would have on the next Hannah Montana or Petz game and advertise your good games. Sadly, you'll never see a commercial for gems like Okami or No More Heroes. It's a shame so many games become sleeper hits and only people like you and me know about them. While we will never see an end to Shovelware, lets hope that developers realize that it's not supposed to be the quantity of games they can put out. Let's bring back the days of quality!

-mwb-

First Impressions: Mario Kart Wii

I've been playing Mario Kart Wii for a couple weeks now. I've finished all of the 50cc and 100cc races and I'm starting to whittle down the always infamous 150cc. I've played a pretty good amount of online races and time trials. I haven't done too many Vs. battles yet, though. So without going into the whole history of Mario Kart, I would say that, overall, this latest installment is a solid one. It makes a good first impression with a solid single player, some fun and interesting new tracks and some touched up classic ones and (by far) the best online experience the Wii has to offer so far (sorry, but you have to agree with me on this one brawlers!). Although, as we dig deeper, it seems we've always had to take the good with the bad on this long running franchise.

Pros

» Adding Friends: Nintendo is finally starting to get their act together. Friend codes are easier to get because you can send an invite to your buddy as long as you have exchanged Wii console codes. Hopefully they continue this trend in future titles.

» Controls: In the same vein as Smash Bros., you can use four (technically five) different control schemes. I've been playing mainly with the Wii Remote by itself (yes, the elusive fifth method -- the Wii Wheel did nothing for me) but I've been meaning to try the Classic and Nunchuck attachment variations.

» No "Snaking": I'm sure people will find a way around this, but for now let's enjoy it.

» Online Play: Opponents can be regional or worldwide and are found almost instantly. All the single player modes are included. You can even catch (in real time) the last minute of the previous race before you join in the action. After voting for a track the race begins in no time. Makes you wonder if they learned their lesson from what happened with Smash Bros.

» Unlockables: 14 additional characters and 19 more karts and bikes become available in a pretty good series of progression. Including Miis is a nice touch for added customization.

» Graphics: Although not too much better than it's GameCube predecessor, everything is bright, crisp and clean. Seeing all your Miis while driving through Coconut Mall is fun and distracting!

Cons

» Overabundance of Powerful Items: It seems with every new Mario Kart they increase the frequency of killer items like squid ink, lightning bolts and blue shells. It's pretty ridiculous the amount of these that CPUs get during even just one lap. The game sometimes ends up requiring more luck than it does skill.

» Controls: It seems we have a double edged sword here. Tilt control is tight and works great until you hit something, then things sometimes go a little wacky and unresponsive. Doing wheelies with the bike will drive you into walls if you don't snap straight back. Power slides are hard to do without the over sized B button of the bulky Wii Wheel.

» "Rubberbanding": It seems no matter how far you get ahead of the CPUs, one hit with a shell with send them whizzing by you before you can get back up to speed. It keeps the game very challenging and very frustrating!

» Graphics: The game looks great at 60 FPS, but if you're playing with a 3 or 4 player split-screen it gets downgraded to 30 FPS. Boo.

So should any of these cons deter you from purchasing this latest installment? Of course not! Mario Kart is a beloved title we expect to see in every generation of Nintendo's consoles. With so much to do it'll keep long time fans busy and introduce newcomers to blue shell madness! It's almost a no brainer for the Big N to cash in on one of their oldest and best selling franchises. It's sure come a long way and I'm sure we'll see another one in a few years time. Whether it's portable or not, we'll have to wait and see. While the obvious choice for the next racer would be F-Zero, I think we have quite a ways to go before seeing it hit shelves. To nail down those ultra high speed precision turns is going to take a while to perfect with tilt control. And I'm willing to wait for that. So until then, throw back a red shell or two and enjoy the chaos that can only be found in Mario Kart!

-mwb-

Raenius Recommends I: Hit Me With Your Perfect Shot

Hopefully this will be the first installment in a weekly segment I’ll call Raenius Recommends. I will highlight a piece of hardware, software or service that successfully stands out and goes above and beyond. It seems every week we’re bombarded with tons of Shovelware and useless accessories. I will hopefully be able to sort through the wreckage and find the stuff worth spending those hard earned dollars on. It’s a dirty job, but someone’s gotta do it! These will be kind of "mini-reviews", I will be going over why it’s a must have, what I like about it and what I don’t like about it (nothing’s perfect). I’ll also try to keep things recent. I’m not going to talk about something that came out 15 years ago! So, without further ado…

This week’s recommendation:
Nyko Perfect Shot for Nintendo Wii

Ever since we knew how the Wii controller worked and saw the prototype “light gun” at E3 we were thinking two words: Duck Hunt. Instead, we got a “spin-off” shooter version of The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess packaged with a deformed Tommy Gun inspired plastic shell. It serves its purpose, but it’s awkward and clunky and the trigger has bad response time. Then along comes Nyko who says: We can do it better.

And they did. How? The answer is quite simple. They made it look like a gun! I’m not sure what Nintendo was thinking. Probably on their never-ending crusade to shelter children from violence, they forget that’s what kids want. While playing titles like House of the Dead 2 & 3 Return, Ghost Squad and the sleeper hit Resident Evil: Umbrella Chronicles holding something that looks like a gun and feels like a gun really puts you in the game.

Installation is so much easier than the Wii Zapper. It’s literally plug and play. No snapping locks, sliding panels or wrapping cables. The only downside is I had to remove the battery compartment covers that came with my Nyko Wii Charge Station. Kind of silly not to make it compatible with your own product, but if that’s the worst thing I can find wrong than that’s not too bad. I have three Wii Remotes, so I can leave one permanently in the Perfect Shot. Conveniently, there’s also a port on the bottom of the grip for the nunchuck attachment if you need it. All the games compatible with the Zapper will work with the Perfect Shot.

Gameplay is flawless. The trigger responds perfectly and the other face buttons aren't covered up just incase you need them for a menu or something. It's made very well and yet it isn't heavy enough to make your arm tired. After a few minutes, you really get into it. Most shooter games even have a calibration so you can have the "where-you-point-is-where-you-shoot" or the "Duck Hunt Effect".

If you can’t find any of these gems on the sales floor there’s a good reason. For a rock bottom price of around $15, it’s obvious why it’s sold out everywhere. It’s even sold out on Nyko’s official site. If you can hold out, online stores like Amazon are claiming to be back in stock later this month. I found mine on eBay for a pretty decent price. I’m not usually one to pay more than something than I have to, but this is a must-have accessory for your Nintendo Wii that you will enjoy for years to come. So, whether you’re blasting zombies, crawling through trenches or saving hostages, make sure the Nyko Perfect Shot is your weapon of choice.

Time to break it down!

Performance: Easy installation. Not too heavy and not too light. Accurate response time for trigger. Hours of enjoyment!

Build Quality: So well made the only reason you'll buy another one is for Player 2

Value: Retail price is a steal but buying on eBay could be risky. Look out for fakes!

Overall: Better than the Nintendo Wii Zapper. Buy one if you can find it. You won't be dissapointed!

-mwb-

2008 Best of April Fools Roundup!

Sometimes they're obvious. Other times they're not. Every year we fall for them. Maybe it’s because we want to believe. Maybe it’s because we forget what day it is. This year is no different.

So, in no particular order, I present to you a handy dandy list of some of the best game and non-game related April Fools Day pranks! Enjoy!

On a side note, “Still Alive” from the game Portal for Rock Band is available for free! And that’s no joke!

Please Note: Some of these links are time sensitive. I have no control if they are taken down after April 1st!

» Downloadable Content for Super Smash Bros. Brawl, The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn, Metroid Prime 3: Corruption and Mario Kart Wii (link)
Probability of Being Real: A new challenger approaches! You wish!

» The Legend of Zelda Movie Trailer (link)
Probability of Being Real: We got some Oscar material right here!

» Wii 2 Development Announcement (link)
Probability of Being Real: I’m sure this is real, but not as described in the article

» New XBOX 360 Accessories Coming this Spring (link)
Probability of Being Real: Definitely real! Bill Gates has no sense of humor!

» City of Heroes Announces Visual Sounds (link)
Probability of Being Real: POW! KABLAM! SMOOSH!

» Grand Theft Auto in Development for Nintendo DS (link)
Probability of Being Real: Can't wait for some Hot Coffee touch controls!

» Guitar Hero & World of Warcraft Collide (link)
Probability of Being Real: Sure, Why not! My level 38 Elf just blew a load!

» World of Warcraft: Molten Core Coming to Consoles (link)
Probability of Being Real: Not sure why this hasn’t happened yet, actually...

» Metal Gear Assassin: Altair's Solid Creed Chronicles (link)
Probability of Being Real: You didn’t think 15 years ago that Mario & Sonic would be in the same game, did you?

» Rock Band Announced for PlayStation Portable (link)
Probability of Being Real: All I can picture is tiny little instrument peripherals. Ha!

» Lego Halo (link)
Probability of Being Real: What next? Lego Condemned!

» EA Buys Take-Two, Presents GTA IV Trailer Five (link)
Probability of Being Real: Will Jackie Chan be a downloadable character?

» Wii Sports for iPhone (link)
Steve Jobs Says: NO!

» Realistic Glitches for Virtual Console Games (link)
Probability of Being Real: Can't wait to tell my girlfriend to blow my Wii!

» XBOX 360 with Built-In Blu-Ray Player (link)
Probability of Being Real: Just what we needed! Another XBOX SKU!

» Guitar Hero Stand Up Bass (link)
Probability of Being Real: Our children will live in a world with only plastic instruments

» Super Pii Pii Brothers (link)
Probability of Being Real: Can you say Shovelware!

Some Good Non-Game Related April Fools

» Google Presents: Gmail Custom Time (link)
Probability of Being Real: Dr. Emmett Brown could invent it!

» Sandals That Hold Your Drink (link)
Probability of Being Real: Good news for all you drunks!

» Google Offers Free Internet with “Dark Porcelain” Project (link)
Probability of Being Real: You could sit on the can and check your email!

» U.S. Mint Discontinues the Penny (link)
Probability of Being Real: A penny for your thoughts?

Well, some of those would be pretty cool if they were real. So try not to get fooled today!

-mwb-

Blowing Off Steam: Why Are Wii Just Friends?

Hey Ya'll. I was invited to contribute to this little slice of the interweb. So I will do my best not to disappoint. After reading this, don't think of it as a bitch session. Think of this as an editorial.

Nintendo and I have a love/hate relationship. It seems many great things they do are often clouded by simple flaws. They give us Virtual Console but no hard drive. They give us great first party games but limited third party support.

What's been specifically on my mind lately that I'd live to talk about is Wii Friend Codes. As a concept, it works. But this is the age of Xbox Live. Nintendo WiFi Connection is like the younger annoying brother of the very dysfunctional console family who always bugs his older siblings by whining "Can I play too?!?"

The reason friend codes just do not work is that there is one for every game. On top of that, the system itself gets it's own code as well. OK Nintendo. You tell me I can live without having a "gamertag" or an online ID. But why can't I add someone's system code to a friends list and that's it? If he plays Mario Strikers, there he is. If he plays Battalion Wars, there he is. No muss. No fuss. Instead, Nintendo forces me to find out someone's friend code and type it in for each game. We live in a lazy world. I shouldn't need a rolodex with 12 digit numbers to play a game with someone!

It seems that Nintendo has been watching too much "To Catch a Predator" lately. It wasn't too bad until I heard about how online matches in Super Smash Bros. will work. Totally anonymous fighting? Haven't they heard of online rivals? Social gaming is huge and Nintendo is putting us all in the shadows. I can't even chat with someone I've added as a friend! They may call it "parental controls". But, it shouldn't be Nintendo's responsibility to control children’s actions online. I believe it's all on the parents. If you’re a responsible parent, you'll have a responsible kid.

It's all a matter of trust. They've been in this business a long time. I believe, in the end, they know what they're doing. Sometimes going against the grain works. But no matter what Nintendo does or what directions they go in, I will be right there behind them along with my fellow fanboys. Oh, Nintendo, we'd follow you off a cliff!

-mwb-

Wii-less

Hey ladies, its Josh again. And you may have noticed that I'm going by Josh now because it has come to my attention that silly surnames and pseudonyms such as J-9 simply aren't cool. But enough chatter about that, I'm talking about something far more serious than that.

A couple weeks ago, my brother Eugene and I were enjoying a nice session of Dragonball Z Budokai Tenkaichi 3 for the Wii. All of sudden, we noticed that there were these multicolored splotches that sort of resembled pixels from the Golden Age of gaming appearing in the corner left and middle of the screen. At that point, we already knew what the problem was, and what needed to be done.

We needed to ship our Wii to Nintendo to cure this ailment.

Now for those of you who have no idea what I'm actually talking about, listen up! These splotches are called artifacts. They can be as small as specks or as large as a giant streak running down your TV. This is a scene from Zelda: Twilight Princess with this very issue. Not very appealing is it? (Un)fortunately This only happens on Wiis that are set to display in 480(p), so if you don't have an HDTV, then don't worry about it.

This issue apparently happens when the Wii Connect24 fries the GPU or CPU or something like that. Since its always on, you can see how the GP-whatever I just said gets fried.

And so to play visual masterpieces such as Zelda or Metroid Prime 3 and Super Mario Galaxy with this horrendous affliction makes me sick to my stomach that it can't look as good as it should because of a couple splotches. This is why I am currently Wii-less. Though it is coming back today (hopefully), the past two weeks have been nothing but anguish. I've stared at that Xbox 360 in my brother's room and in my own, and the sheer weght of the truth that I can't play anything I have been playing for the past EVERSINCETHEWIICAMEOUT makes me very sad inside.

So how can you avoid being Wii-less? For one, buy a fan! I can't emphasis this enough. You have no idea how much that would actually help. There's no cooling unit for the Wii-Connect24 while its on 24/7 so I would recommend you go out and pick one up today. And make it Nyko. That's the only 3rd party I would trust, and so should you. They're the ones responsible for the awesome Wii Charge decks and the Perfect Shot after all! (I'm not counting the infamous Xbox360 intercooler. You know, the one that caused your unit to perform Hari-Kari.)

Another tip is to simply turn Wii-Connect24 off. Yeah, I know its cool to receive messages late at night and have the Wii glow an ominous, yet soothing shade of blue but in the long run, its just not worth the hassle I'm going through for the SECOND time. So yeah, just turn it off. Unplug it if you're that cautious. You'll receive messages and updates when you boot the system online for the sake of sanity.

Oh well, I've seemed to run out of things to say. And I still have 40 minutes left until my train departs. Well, I'm off today to pick up where I left off in Metroid Prime 3. There's some Metroids that need freezin.

See ya around!