Monday, March 3, 2008

Top 5 Most Bad-Arse Video Game Villains of All Time

Its Josh again. Yeah, you really can't spend too much
time on the negatives you know? With the anticipation of Super Smash Bros. Brawl in the air and the colossal blunders at Sony Inc, I think we can take a minute and forget about all of the negative and tense things in gaming life, and give praise to the very folks who cause our 'heroes' their great trifles. Introducing to you are the top 5 most bad-arse Video Game Villains of All Time. (According to me, of course.)

#5 Sigma: Mega Man X series
The guy you're looking at on the left? Complete jerk. But why does he make the cut for number 5 of the most bad-arse villain? Well, lets look at the facts. He somehow contracts a super virus from then Maverick Zero and turns it into the Sigma Virus, turns hundreds of noble and cause worthy Reploids into Mavericks and has X exterminate them. Then, he hires Vile to kill Zero, X's mentor and best friend. Returns in Mega Man X2 and sends these "X Hunters" to challenge X to a death match where the winner keeps Zero's broken parts. Eventually makes a fake Zero to traumatize and fight X. Returns in X3 to manipulate Doctor Doppler to get a new body to kill X. Returns in X4 to turn the ENTIRE Repliforce on the humans and have them tricked into being called Mavericks. Lets a giant Space Colony plummet and destroy a good portion of the Earth just to get Zero to unleash his true potential against X, manipulates some dude in X7, and well. You get the rest. The point being this, Sigma went above and beyond just to make Mega Man X and his chum Zero lives a living heck. And to some extent, he succeeded. The worst part is, this dude never seems to stay dead. Dedication man! That's what makes Sigma a real bad mother.

#4 Godot: Phoenix Wright
Sometimes a great villain doesn't need superhuman strength or immortality. Sometimes, all a great villain needs is an ungodly cool visor and hot steaming cup of joe. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the smiling guy on the left, that's Ace Prosecutor Godot from Phoenix Wright fame. As you play as Phoenix Wright, a Defense Attorney, your job is to prove your client innocent while you face the relentless prosecution, and I mean the best in the biz! Through the trilogy of games, Phoenix has faced the likes of Miles Edgeworth, Manfred and Franziska von Karma, none measure up to the sheer awesome might of Godot. Why's that? All the prosecutors before Godot have used some sort of forgery to get their verdict. Godot on the other hand has just been so darn good in court he doesn't have to. The smooth talking, coffee jugging ultimately cool prosecutor makes number 4. Just for this quote alone. " The weak get washed away by the tides of fate...the strong drink it up!" Yes they do Godot. Yes they do.

#3 Meta Knight: Kirby Series
Now look at that little guy over there and tell me that's not 5 different levels of epic right there. Straight out of the cutesy happy go lucky world of Kirby comes this dark knight. Meta Knight is truly an awesome character. While he's not necessarily evil like Dracula, Jenova and the like, he's more or less like an anti-hero. And since I really didn't play Final Fantasy VII myself (as I watched my brother beat the game) I can't comment on a character that I wasn't engaged with. At any rate, Meta Knight would constantly attack you with his minions in Kirby's Adventure until you dueled with him yourself. Once you find out he was trying to save Dreamland, you think "Hey! Things are cool with him and Kirbs, right?" Wrong! Revenge of Meta Knight rolls around as a game on Kirby Superstar where he vows to conquer Dreamland with his uber bad butt war machine, dubbed Halberd. Revenge of Meta Knight was one of the darker games found on the ole Kirby Superstar, and probably one of the most memorable scenes in that game is where the Halberd is completely wrecked, Meta Knight's crew evacuates and Kirby makes his escape of the sinking ship...only to be chased by the Knight in blue himself to the very demise of the Halberd. It just oozes bad arsey! I mean, his best quote is "DIE Kirby. DIE!" Just too awesome!

#2 Ridley: The Metroid Series

It seems as though tenacity is our reoccurring theme today, as Ridley makes number 2 on my list. You know your inner child can't disagree with me! What's cooler than a fire breathing dragon that hunts you till the end of time? Now I ask, what's cooler than a fire breathing dragon equipped with laser beams and rocket launchers? I'm sorry, but Ridley is just far to awesome to be not included into this list. First for a little backstory, its basic common knowledge that Ridley, although mindless beast looking, is actually the high ranking commander of the Space Pirates. Okay, that's pretty cool. Oh but wait, did I mention that he totally ravaged every human on K-2L and murdered Samus's parents? They way I see it is a bad-arse villain is only as awesome as their antagonist, and we all know how defiantly awesome Samus is. Like most of the guys on this list, Ridley doesn't seem to quit at life either. He's come back twice in regular form. Once as an android equipped with a Darkseid-esque Omega Beam and super fun happy rockets. Returned again to fight you down an elevator shaft in one of the most coolest boss sequences ever. And well, there's the future. Good lord knows the next time good old Ridley will show up, but when he does, you can bet your abs it'll be a crazy party!

#1 Most Bad-Arse Villain of All Time...
Ganondorf: The Legend of Zelda Series

Tell me you didn't know that was coming. Seriously. The award for the most bad-arse villain of all time goes to this man on the far left. I don't know who else could fit this category, but I know only one man deserving of this tittle. One of the most impressive developments of Ganon is the amount of changes this character undergoes, yet somehow remains the same man. But first, a little history before ye all judge. Legend has it that Ganondorf, king of Thieves searched with his army to find the home of the Triforce; the golden land. Well, when he reached the gate, he slaughtered not one, not two, but ALL of his faithful followers and held the Triforce of power for himself. If that's not hardcore, I don't know what is. Ganon has appeared as a power hungry tyrant, to an evil king, something as a twisted father figure in Wind Waker, and even as an omnipotent being in Twilight Princess. And in true villain fashion, he has a serious death deficiency, but it should be noted that there really hasn't been a Link strong enough to kill him. Yep, that's right. The man has managed to be so strong that the best they could come up with was seal him away. And the fun thing about the Zelda series is that they take place over a long amount of time. Our pal here vows to hunt down every Link in the natural time line of history until they are all exterminated. I mean, there is not one rendition of Ganon that's NOT worthy of being inducting. For example, I could have inducted Ganon based solely on his Wind Waker appearance, dueling young Link with two swords while the Kingdom of Hyrule was plunged into an eternal ocean water. Or I could have inducted Ganon's efforts in A Link to the Past, where he already rules the Dark World. The list goes on, and writing is on wall. Ganon just may be the coolest villain in video game history.

Well, that does it. Maybe I'll do a top something next time, but as for now, I've got to patiently pretend that Brawl is never coming out. Till next time!